Empathy – Lessons in Life

For as long as I could remember, it seemed everyone around me had someone special in their life. All the while, I held on to what has kept me strong–my faith. I felt that my heart was ready to love someone, but felt like there was a hedge of protection on me that was saving me for what was coming. (How do I know this?) I could feel rather quickly by being around someone if we were going to hit off or not. Most of the time, I didn’t feel that spark everyone talks about.

When I gave up on searching for my special someone, I asked God to show me His love for me. I knew He was present in my life, but I wanted to SEE and FEEL the love He had for me. I wanted my heart to feel the warmth of affection and flutter of endless joy.

In return, I have seen hearts that have brought me to absolute tears knowing they were divine tokens from above. You can call me crazy, but I know this was an answered prayer. In addition to finding hearts in nature, my heart became soft for others. My empathy increased as I did what I could to turn other people’s sadness or emptiness into a newfound joy I had found. Sometimes I like to think I made someone’s day with a simple smile or few words of encouragement.

Love isn’t something you give to another without having it overflow into your own life. Love begins with loving yourself. Look from within yourself and learn to love yourself completely. Be nice to who you are and watch who you become.

If you are empty on the inside and rush to the world to fill you, you will always be searching for a refill. Trust me, when you can accept your own flaws and habits then you can start to share your love with another.

During the summer, I took a leadership class at my church and was told we would be taking a test. The teachers told me about the the test called “The Strengths Finder test“. We were given books about the 34 themes that are most prevalent in everyone. The test is not like any other test you might have taken to understand how you are as a leader or in your personality. This test is strictly about the way you are “wired” and how that “wiring” makes you you. The test itself is similar to the other tests you have taken, but this one is timed and goes as different speeds. That is something I was unaware of and it bothered me. I had a feeling my attitude toward the timer would have an affect on my score, but the instructors ensured me it wouldn’t.

How is the Strength Finder’s Test useful?

In a group setting, you can share your strengths and with the help of the book your members can understand WHY you are the way you are.
Knowing ahead of time someone’s strengths allows you to connect with them in their own way to make a lasting impression or to get the job done smoother.
There’s no more small talk of how you like things to “be done”. Those who lead, lead and those who follow, follow and so forth.
It’s all in the “themes” you are given. Each theme represents you that tells others how you will possibly act and react in certain situations.
The test helps you understand yourself better and how to use your “top 5” more effectively

Key points to consider

Once you take the test, you shouldn’t retake it. Most often, the test results will be the same.
The “top 5” themes are given to you as results that should be improved to work together.
The other “29” themes might be in you, but not as strong as your “top 5” themes.
The book explains the good and dark side of each theme with helpful scenarios to learn from.
Don’t judge each “theme” to be 100% on point with each individual you meet. After all, we are all made different.

What are my strengths? In order, I am: Responsible, Strategic, Connectedness, Includer, and Empathy

I started a blog with the first letter of my strength’s called “RICES_4God” about my spiritual journey after I took this test.

Another useful tool, was an online quiz my sister suggested me to take. It a color personality quiz created by Carolyn Kalil, MA. My first reaction reaction was unsure how a COLOR is going to tell me about myself. I know I love the color green, but what does that have to do with how I act and think. With my sister’s help and online, the background of the quiz is to take “who you are, not who you are want to be.” If you notice, that is the directions to the quiz right before you select “A” or “B” for each category. I don’t know about you, but that was hard for me. I am always thinking about evolving into something greater than who I am today, so I had to go with how I was feeling on the day I took the quiz. With only two view points to answer from “A” or “B” it kept the gray area out of the equation. In other words, either you are this or you aren’t that. (A side note about me, I am discovering I am a balanced right-brain, left-brain thinking which confuses people how I am the way I am. To me it’s a gift to be able to tap into either side and strategically be creative, so it makes me unique!)

How is the “Follow Your True Colors To the Work You Love” quiz useful?

It’s a straight-forward quiz that produces accurate results.
The two option response tells you either you are this or you aren’t that. It’s that simple (or complex for the over thinkers out there).
When you get your 1 out of 4 color results, it gives you a great description of yourself.
The results provide possible career fields matching key adjectives describing who you are.
Who you are is who you are going to be in your career because you can only be yourself.

Key points to consider

The basic results are given on a web page result.
The more detailed results are available in purchasing a book.
There are only 4 possible outcomes: green, blue, orange, gold
Blue and green are opposites of each other.
Orange and gold are action takers.
At the end, numbers are given to you with a bar to show how you ranked in each color.

What were my results? As I mentioned briefly before about my balanced “brain” thinking, I was given an additional question that gave me this: 14-Blue, 13-Green, 6-Gold, & 3-Orange

What are some of the tools you have used that have helped you? Did you take the quiz? What were your results?